Awake
by Sachie Yoritomo
Summary: Sequel to Dream No More. Sometimes, you don't have to be asleep to dream. Sometimes dreams won't let you sleep. Life is never what you want it to be. HB, KurXShiz


Dedication: to my father, who helps me with all my strange research questions. To Bailey, Matt, and Mark who help me when I am trapped awake. And to Jon, the reason I'm awake in the first place.

Awake

Chapter 1

Sachie Yoritomo

At sunrise everything is luminous but not clear. It is those we live with and love and should know who elude us. You can love completely without complete understanding.

* * *

Shizuru sipped her hot cocoa, to which she had added a shot of vodka and sat on the balcony of her new apartment, waiting and thinking. She glanced at her watch, and saw that it was 4:55 am. She groaned and rubbed her weary eyes. She was exhausted, but had spent the night up until half an hour ago lying awake in her bed but unable to sleep. She looked across the street at another block of apartments, and began to think.

* * *

Two months ago, Yusuke and Keiko had gotten married. She'd been conned into being a bridesmaid, along with Yukina, Botan, and some girl Keiko had known from school that seemed really rather uncomfortable with the whole situation. Shizuru didn't really blame her- the groomsmen were the Tantei and Koenma, and Enma himself performed the ceremony. She couldn't really believe Keiko involved her, but whatever, it's her wedding. Their gowns were lavender, which made them (well, half at least) look somewhat sickly, halter style tea length dresses with a fancy waist that Shizuru didn't particularly care for. Everyone, including Keiko, had their hair done up in an elaborate mess of curls on top of their head.

The ceremony itself had been uneventful, but the reception had not. Yusuke had nearly destroyed the cake (entirely by accident, he claimed), and toward the end of the party, something somewhat unexpected happened. Only somewhat, though- they all knew it would come eventually, but they just didn't know when that would be. Kuwabara, in his infinite wisdom, had picked this of all times to propose to Yukina. Surprisingly, she seemed to grasp what all the concept entailed rather well- Shizuru suspected that Keiko had filled her in while they were planning the wedding.

He had also managed to purchase a very nice half carat round cut diamond engagement ring, with his own money to boot- or at least Shizuru hoped, as he certainly hadn't borrowed any of hers. In any case, Yukina accepted with much pleasure. Kuwabara looked like he could have died of happiness, and Shizuru grabbed a glass of champagne and went to grab some air.

The wedding had taken place in late September at Genkai's temple, and it was starting to turn chilly, but Shizuru decided she didn't care on this particular occasion. She sipped her champagne and stared out into Genkai's creepy forest, leaning against the walls of the temple. She was happy for her brother, but a small part of her life had just melted away. Her friends were all growing up. Keiko and Yusuke had just gotten married, and now her brother was joining their little club. She was happy for him, but the small sentimental part of Shizuru still wanted him to be her goofy kid brother that kept getting in trouble.

Now she had a grown-up brother, who was doing his best to make something respectable of himself. It was a bittersweet moment.

"Something the matter?" a voice asked from her right. She turned, and saw Kurama walking toward her.

"Just thinking. You know what I mean?"

He gave her an odd look. "I think so." After a moment or two of silence, he continued, "Are you upset about your brother's engagement?"

"No," she said quietly, turning back to face the forest. "It's just something I'll have to get used to."

"If you ever need anything," Kurama said pointedly, "you know that I am here to help you."

Shizuru met his gaze before she looked out into the forest again. "I know," she replied, taking a sip of her champagne.

Shizuru was not the only one affected by Kuwabara's proposal at the wedding. Hiei had taken it badly, and almost immediately after the deed was done, had disappeared into one of the hallways in Genkai's temple.

"I'll kill him," Hiei growled, fists clenched.

"What will that solve?" she responded in a hushed voice. "How does that make anything better?"

Hiei growled at her in response, and gave her what he hoped was a particularly fiercesome glare.

"You see, you know it's not worth it."

"I hate him," Hiei hissed at her.

She sighed and decided she ought to at least _try_ to talk reason to him. "Hiei, this is not your decision to make. Yukina is your sister. You have to respect her choice. You don't have to like it," she said, almost pleadingly.

"Onna, I don't need your…" He began heatedly, but Botan grabbed his hand.

"Hiei," she said seriously, "You won't win this way."

Their eyes locked, causing electricity to shoot through his entire body. He followed his first instinct- he ran. Botan stood where he had left her, dazed for a few moments, before she decided she should at least return to the party. Hiei was having a rough evening, she concluded, and though she didn't fully understand, she decided not to dwell on it. She shook her head, sighed, and went to go have a piece of the salvaged wedding cake.

* * *

Botan rode back to the hotel she was staying from the wedding on her oar. It was dark and cloudy, and the moon was new. She was exhausted- it was late, just past midnight, and she'd been staying in a room on the top floor this particular hotel for a couple of weeks doing some work for Koenma. She didn't bother to go into the main doors; she just flew up to her balcony. She knew it was dark enough that she wouldn't be seen by anyone. The wind was beginning to pick up by the time she got to the door, opened it, and went inside.

She shivered a little and crossed the small room to turn on the lights, and she flinched a little when they came on. Rubbing her temples which were beginning to ache, she proceeded to a mini fridge that was under the counter of the vanity and sink. She pulled out a bottle of water and began to chug it. She walked back across the room and pulled the blinds to the balcony, and set now half empty bottle of water down on the dresser. In a swift motion, she had her dress unzipped and it was down on the ground about her ankles. She stepped out of it, picked it up and tossed it on the chair to her left. Her shoes came off just as quickly and ended up in the same place, and then she was rummaging in the drawers of the dresser for some pajamas.

She picked a set of red satin pajamas and quickly slipped into them, then closed the drawer. Not bothering to fully button her top, Botan took another deep draw from the water bottle, walking back over to the mirror, where she meticulously began to pick pins out of her hair.

She finished after about 10 minutes, and then grabbed her brush and brushed her hair out. She pulled out a few pins she'd missed and pulled the poofy mess back into a low ponytail. She decided she'd shower in the morning. She looked at her face in the mirror and recoiled a little; her makeup was smeared, her eyes were bloodshot and puffy, and her hair looked like she'd combed it with an eggbeater. She moaned slightly, shut off the light, and decided to deal with it in the morning.

She crawled into the king size bed, and her body protested the cold. She could hear the sounds of rain and sleet hitting the glass doors, and she shivered a bit, snuggling deep into her covers. Far away, Hiei's Jagan eye glowed- it would take much more than drawn curtains to hide from him, and both of them spent the night awake, listening to the sound of the last rain of the year.

* * *

Shizuru looked back across the street at the block of apartments across the street, and picked out a particular one she had become familiar with. She stretched and yawned, then rubbed her eyes. Her watch now read 5:30. It was Saturday, and Shizuru simply contented herself with being awake and alone in an empty apartment with a full liquor cabinet, and watched the sunrise.

* * *

Revised 7/4/12. I don't know how I got the characterization so far off, but I fixed it. Also, combined with most of used to be chapter 2, because it was very short.

~SJY


End file.
